the lighter side

It’s quite possibly the most important piece of clothing you put on, the present you get to unwrap all year long, and this Valentine's season your best offence in making that special someone more than just a friend. The pièce de résistance I speak of is none other than the manty. Boxers, briefs, thongs, jockstraps, and the newest addition to the realm of underwear; the hybrid, have seared a lasting label-popping reminder in the minds of gays everywhere - that granny panties just won't do.

Some say it was Calvin Klein's 1991 oh-so-sexy Marky Mark underwear campaign that sounded the dawn of designer underwear neurosis all over North America and Europe. But it wasn't until the 25th anniversary of the label's underwear launch in 2007, with the introduction of Calvin Klein Steel; a micro-fibre boasting, uber thick waist banded, hyper-labelled gift from the gay gods that the sensationalism of underwear obsession was born.

Since then we have spent hundreds, and in some extreme cases thousands of dollars, on the tiny tush warmers. With a median price tag of $125 a pair for designer labels like Galliano, D&G, Roberto Cavalli, Dior and Versace, why spend so much disposable income on something seen for a mere moment in the heat of passion? The answer is not so simple, there are a number of reasons men shell out top dollar for less than a foot of fabric.

Firstly, and in this writer’s opinion most importantly, is how they make your most salient “ass”-et look. Many designer undies cut the posterior of their garments to lift and cup the bum, making sure that regardless of gravity you look your perkiest. To boot, the seams of good underwear appear invisible ensuring that no one knows you’re even wearing underwear until you want them to. This allows for maximum focus with no unwanted manty lines taking away from what you spent hours at the gym squatting to create. Additionally for those lacking in the seat department there are several designer lines of underwear that have built in posterior padding to make sure you fill in those jeans you spent last month’s rent on. (www.addicted.es, www.malebasics.com, www.priape.com)

Secondly, the psychology of underwear has to be considered, and thank goodness for the power of association. In looking at a multitude of mid- to high-end undies the most obvious commonality across is branding the band. It seems that waistband we love to see peeking up above belt loops and just below a perfectly placed navel says more to prospective audiences than we would like to admit. Seeing a flash of any number of designer brief-bands and our minds are immediately transported to some of the sexiest advertising on the market. Half-naked guys on the side of buildings, bus stops and back covers of our favourite glossies are not a terrible crew to be considered in the company of.

Some may argue that the cost of aforementioned undies is too high, that they would rather stick to the ones served up three per package, and that they don't mind bunching, unflattering undergarments. Others have found solace in flying commando. However you choose to package yourself, as long as you feel sexy, your actions should convey that attitude to prospective shoppers. But I for one would rather have engineering, design and the sexy guy from the billboard on my side. Happy Valentine's Day!

– Jefre Nicholls is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer and stylist.